


bitter-sweet chemistry

by lashtonweyhey



Series: i can't help but to hear an exchanging of words [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Bad Ending, Lashton_ Freeform, Light Smut, M/M, Part Two, Sad, Sequel, Unhappy, final part, im not sure but just in case, im sorry, michael (sorta), trigger warning maybe ??, use of profanity, you'll probably be upset with me by the end of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 19:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5217578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lashtonweyhey/pseuds/lashtonweyhey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>remember that little bit of hope he had? yeah? because ashton doesn't. </p>
<p>he felt as if it'd been cut in half, then thrown into a paper shredder, then glued back together just to get stepped on by a pair of baseball cleats. and thats how he's felt for about two months now. </p>
<p>or </p>
<p>a sequel to "i cant help but to hear an exchanging of words" where things don't exactly get better, and i apologize for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bitter-sweet chemistry

**Author's Note:**

> hello. i'm back with a sequel (finally). this took me longer than it should've to write, mainly because school got in the way, and the editing and the writer's block. but i think it's pretty decent, and hopefully you think that too. so please, enjoy. 
> 
> {lower case intended}

ashton sat there, staring at the boring television show with no interest. he tipped the glass in his hand and watched as the shiny alcoholic drink swirled before downing the rest of the cup. he wondered what luke was doing right now as he poured himself another glass of wine. which was shitty wine, because really, ashton didn't care enough to buy good alcohol. he just wanted something that would take his mind off luke. and even though it didn't help at all, he still drank. 

luke was  _still_ gone, so ashton didn't really care about anything.

and yeah, some say that he ruined ashton's life. michael says that. he thinks that because ashton drinks more than he used to that luke ruined his life by leaving.  
  
but michael could never be more wrong.  
  
because luke is ashton's sunshine. and there's not a thing luke can do that would ruin ashton's life.  
  
so _just because_ its harder for ashton to breathe doesn't mean that his life is ruined. it just means ashton's heart beats for luke-- but luke isn't here.  
  
ashton's tried so hard, he has, to just _forget_. to forget about luke and forget what happened. its in the past, and you can't change the past.  
  
but what if ashton _can't_ forget him?  
  
because really, he cant. luke was ( _is_ ) ashton's world. and the blonde was a big part of his life.  
  
but, it had been two months now, and luke hadn't called back, texted back, or anything. and ashton was starting to loose hope. and he was tired of drinking shitty whine every night and watching stupid television programs. so he stood up and turned off the telly, setting his glass on the kitchen counter as he walked by.  
  
he opened his bedroom door, unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it in the laundry basket that he'd probably have to do sometime this weekend if he'd want clean clothing for the upcoming week.  
  
but for now, he was utterly exhausted and kind of starving but he had been pushing food aside for the time being, only eating when he was about close to dying.  
  
(he was forced by calum.)  
  
so, instead of drinking shitty wine or watching something idiotic or doing his laundry or eating, he laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, about ready to pass out.  
  
but not without calling luke, of course.  
  
so he took his phone off the bedside table, dialled the almost to familiar number and shivered slightly when he pressed the phone against his ear.  
  
the phone rang, and rang, and rang. and then rang one more time and ashton had this sliver of hope that luke might _justmight_ answer--  
  
 _ **"the number you have called is currently unavailable. please leave a message after the tone."**_  
  
oh.  
  
remember that little bit of hope he had? yeah? because ashton doesn't.  
  
he felt as if it'd been cut in half, then throw into a paper shredder, then glued back together just to get stepped on by a pair of baseball cleats.  
  
and thats how he's felt for about two months now.  
  
"hey," ashton sighed. "it's me, again, luke. i know i've called before, and i know that i'm probably annoying you. and sometimes i wonder why i call you. but i just wanted to say that-"  
  
 _"stop calling me at one am, ashton."_  
  
"-i miss you."  
  
but luke had already hung up and the phone was beeping, indicating the call had ended.  
  
and that was the first time ashton has heard luke's voice in two months, and in those two months, ashton had never cried harder than he did that night.  
  
•••  
  
three months, it had been since ashton last heard luke's voice. and no, michael was wrong, ashton wasn't "going insane." he just... liked the sound of luke's voice, that's all.  
  
(but he _was_ going insane, inside his own head. and for months he repeated luke's words and he was starting to loose the way his voice sounded and he cried at night because of it. but as far as he would say, he was _not_ going insane, nor would he ever be.)  
  
ashton didn't call luke after that. he didn't leave annoying voicemails or cliché text messages. he didn't.  
  
because luke told him not to. and ashton, being whipped more than _Cool Whip_ , did what luke said.  
  
(and honestly he's been _itching_ to call. he's lost track of the amount of times his finger had been hovering over the call button for however many minutes.)  
  
"ash, mate, c'mon and eat," calum practically begged, inching the plate of spaghetti toward ashton, who sat across from him at the island and was twirling his phone around in his hands. he shook his head, putting his elbow on the counter top and resting his forehead on his palm.  
  
"not hungry," he mumbled, pushing the button on his phone, sighing when seeing there was no notifications.  
  
calum let out a frustrated sigh, standing up and snatching ashton's phone quickly. the older one stood up to protest, but calum silenced him, his hand making sharp contact with ashton's face.  
  
the blonde stood there, shocked, lips parted slightly. he brushed his fingers over the reddening mark on his cheek, wincing slightly and glancing back at calum.  
  
"you slapped me," ashton deadpanned.  
  
"wouldn't be the first time," the dark haired one replied casually. "but you needed it, you need help, ashton! you can't just sit here all day and-"  
  
"i can do whatever the fuck i want, calum! it's my house, and it's my life! i don't need you to babysit me all the time! i'm fine!" ashton said, letting out a sigh of relief when he finally got that off his chest.  
  
calum stared back, jaw clenched and eyes darker than ever.  
  
"i care about you, ashton, that's all i'm doing. but okay, if you don't want-- don't _need_ me or my help, i'll leave you alone,"  
  
he grabbed his coat and went for the door ignoring when ashton called him back. calum slammed the door with so much force ashton swore the whole complex shook.  
  
•••  
  
two weeks later calum hadn't talked to ashton and he still wasn't eating very much. he still hadn't called luke but he was craving to, as if its an essential need in order to live.  
  
he sighed deeply, and stopped pacing around the room. he picked his phone up off the counter and unlocked it, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.  
  
 **'hi luke. i know what you said, on the phone. but i just needed to text you. to tell that i still love you. and i'm so sorry, for everything. i need you, luke. please come back. i love you -ash xx'**  
  
he hesitated, pulling his thumb away from the 'send' button and sucking his lip between his teeth, gnawing on it.  
  
he took a deep breath, 'now or never' coming across his mind and he exhaled, moving his finger back over the button.  
  
 _knock knock knock._  
  
ashton jumped slightly, looking at the door for a few seconds before setting his phone down and walking towards it.  
  
he found his hand threading through his hair as he walked, his other straightening out the wrinkles on his shirt. he took a deep breath as if he was nervous and didn't really bother to look through the peep hole because it was probably just calum coming by to play fifa and forget about the whole fight.  
  
he opened the door, sighing and not really bothering to look up from the threshold before speaking.  
  
"hey, cal. look, i know what i said and i'm—"  
  
and, oh.  
  
oh.  
  
well, it certainly wasn't calum, that's for sure.  
  
ashton just kind of stared, mostly in shock. he didn't know what to say or do and for a second he forgot to to breathe. his heart was beating fast and it felt as if it had been in his throat, explaining why he couldn't inhale for a while. he couldn't decide if he should be panicking, or be scared, or be happy; maybe even relieved. but ashton didn't feel any of those emotions. he just feel.. neutral, irrelevant almost. he felt as if all his organs just stopped working— without all that pain, except his heart. his heart hurt a whole damn lot right now— and time was frozen and everything was just still excluding him and luke.  
  
"hey, ashton," he said, using only half his mouth to smile and ashton— wow, his dimple still looks adorable and his eyes, still bright and  
  
"u-um. i- h-hey, uh-"  
  
ashton had forgotten how to speak, as well.  
  
luke laughed slightly, looking down at his rugged vans. "can i, um, come in?" luke asked shyly, smiling at ashton and— yeah, his heart melted into a puddle of awh and warm and cuddly and luke.  
  
ashton swallowed, but nodded and opened the door wider, stepping aside as luke walked in. the blonde was wearing the usual; black skinny jeans, black vans, a band shirt, and a black zip hoodie. it was kind of cold and gloomy, so luke's hood was up and his hair was kind of tousled but still in a messy quiff. ashton smiled and had the urge to fix the few strands of hair falling down, but resisted and followed luke into the main room.  
  
"so," luke started as he sat on the couch. ashton last on the opposite side. "how've you been?"  
  
 _been? it's been terrible, luke. i haven't been eating well, my sleeping schedule is so fucked up, and i might get fired. you leaving is one of the worst things that has happened to me. i need you luke, please come back._  
  
"oh, i've been good, works good. everything's alright. what about you?"  
  
luke nodded, his lips pressing into a thin line. "yeah, me too. things are good, not great, but i'll live," the two laughed slightly, and then everything was silent again.  
  
"so i was gonna-"  
  
"i just wanted to tell you-"  
  
they were talking at the same time, just a jumble of words flying everywhere and they both chuckled again. ashton offered "you first," and luke smiled.  
  
"i came because i just wanted to tell you that- um, i've missed you. and i'm sorry i was such a dick that one night when i told you to stop calling me. and, god, ashton, i'm so sorry that i left-"  
  
"luke-- wait, you don't need to apologize for that. you shouldn't be sorry. i was the one who made a dick move. i totally understand that you hate me and everything-"  
  
"hate you? no, ash, i don't hate you,"  
  
they stared at each other, and the silence kind of hurt ashton's ears and he didn't really understand what was happening but he just wanted somebody to say something.  
  
"o-oh, i.. i thought you did..."  
  
and it was so awkwardly quiet again and luke was just staring.. looking straight at ashton. and ashton kind of wanted to punch himself because he fucked up so bad and luke was the one apologizing and  
  
"i still love you, ashton,"  
  
ashton probably should have like gasped or reacted in anyway but he didn't and he should have kissed luke like in cliché movies but he didn't. he didn't he didn't he didn't.  
  
but what he did do was stand up. ashton stood up and walked towards the kitchen and he leaned against the sink because he felt as if little tiny people were inside him pushing all his organs up his throat.  
  
"ash-"  
  
"don't, luke, just-"  
  
"ash look at me,"  
  
ashton turned around, his face visibly pale and cold sweat broke out on his forehead.  
  
luke was a few feet in front of him and he was looking at ashton. like _really_ looking at him. looking at his body and his hair and his heart and his eyes and his soul and everything in between and every particle ashton is made up of.  
  
but ashton just stared and he couldn't see what luke saw and he couldn't see every particle luke was made up of and ashton could only see him and his legs and his arms and his hair and his eyes and his lips and ashton was so angry with himself.  
  
 _(but his lips. wow.)_  
  
ashton inched closer, pushing himself off the counter and taking a step towards luke. their eyes were still locked on each other and the blonde's eyes were so blue and mesmerizing and ashton could stare at them for hours.  
  
he blinked and luke was so close and their chests touched when they inhaled and luke's hand shakily moved to ashton's cheek and everything was so sweet and perfect.  
  
then they kissed, and it wasn't cliché, with sparks and fireworks. it was just them and their lips and their tongues and noses bumped occasionally and their bodies were pressing against each other.  
  
then everything sped up and luke's tongue was in ashton mouth and and ashton was being pinned against the counter top and luke's hands were on his hips and ashton hand were on luke torso.  
  
"luke," ashton panted as the blonde kissed down his jaw and left a mark on his neck. "l-luke, bedroom,"  
  
"down the hall, second door on the right, i know," he smirked and led ashton to the bedroom. he opened the door and laid ashton down, straddling his hips. their actions were still fast and probably stupid and they shouldn't even be doing this.  
  
ashton should've gotten luke back without the sex, but by doing something genuine and sweet and wholehearted.  
  
but the guilt in ashton's gut was soon forgotten when his mind went blank because luke was grinding down on him and tugging his hair and whining his name all at the same time and all ashton could really think of doing was moan and put his hand down luke's pants.  
  
and yeah, soon enough, their bodies were rolling and touching, their rough-skinned hands moving over one another as if it was the last thing they'd do. the room was filled with soft gasps and moans and long whines of their names as they just loved and wanted each other, more than they ever had before.  
  
when they were done they laid on the bed, panting and covered in sweat and everything was still hot and steamy and sticky.  
  
ashton would have to wash the sheets the next morning but he wasn't really thinking about that now. he was thinking about luke and waking up next to luke and cuddling with luke in the morning and eating breakfast with luke whilst saying "so last night was pretty amazing."  
  
and with that he fell asleep, a smile on his face and his arm lazily draped over luke. ashton felt the blonde kiss his head, and say goodnight, and then he was out.  
  
•••  
  
ashton woke up, yawning and stretching, feeling like it was a bright and sunny perfect morning. he turned to his left, cracking his eyes open and-  
  
oh.  
  
he sat up, rubbing his eyes and looking frantically around. he didn't spot the blonde anywhere in the room. he stood up and pulled on a pair of shorts and walked out the door. luke had to be in the bathroom or something. maybe in the kitchen?  
  
"luke?" ashton called as he walked down the hall. he turned into the kitchen and he wasn't there. ashton frowned, then walked towards the living area.  
  
luke wasn't there either. he called out the blonde's name again as he walked towards the bathroom, and then towards the personal bathroom in ashton's bedroom.  
  
luke was nowhere to be found, which only meant one thing. he left.  
  
ashton sat down on the bed, his head between his hands. he breathing got steadily faster, his chest heavy as he closed his eyes tightly.  
  
the best thing that had ever happened to him; he left, then came back, then left again.  
  
"god, make up your fucking mind luke!" ashton yelled, standing up quickly and grabbing a pillow and throwing it on the ground. he paced around the room, yelling curse words every now and then when he could actually breath properly enough to say something.  
  
"fuck- luke- why can't you just- shit!- just-" he was panting and chucking things across the room. he wasn't crying, because he wasn't sad. he was so fucking angry at luke, and at himself and at the fact that luke left and he was just upset with the whole universe in general.  
  
"just fucking love me, luke!" he yelled, reaching to grab one of the candles to throw at the wall. instead his hand landed on a shirt that was folded atop the dresser. ashton turned to look at it, almost falling to his knees when he saw that it was luke's shirt.  
  
ashton picked up the shirt gently, his hands shaking. he unfolded it and held it up to his face, inhaling the scent deeply. he sighed, and- oh-  
  
he smelled the shirt again. yeah, it smelled like luke, and sort of like ashton's bed sheets, but- what is-?- no- luke wouldn't- would he?  
  
ashton clearly smelt a girl's perfume on the black shirt. it definitely wasn't either one of them.  
  
ashton stared at the shirt for a long time. trying to figure out why luke would do this.  
  
after about thirty minutes of pacing and sitting and standing and smelling the shirt, ashton stopped and froze.  
  
so many things were running through his head and it ached as he tried to focus on just the one. but he did. he realized what luke did and he knew, he just didn't know how to process it.  
  
luke had purposefully made the scent clear, and ashton didn't know how he didn't notice it before. luke had gone somewhere, or did something, with a girl. he had been with this girl quite recently, maybe even right before he came to ashton's. he-- luke--  
  
he did exactly what ashton had done. ashton was with a girl right before luke's mum's wedding. and now luke was with a girl right before he came over to ashton's.  
  
the whole situation was so painfully ironic and ashton had to debate between hanging himself or jumping in the street, which would be less painful than this.  
  
ashton didn't cry for awhile. all he did was sit on the bed with his head in one hand and the shirt in the other. he sat for twenty minutes or so, just staring at the floor. just thinking of why luke would do such a cruel thing, thinking of ways to die, thinking of ways to get luke back.  
  
then he broke down. he sniffled, a single tear slipped, then he sobbed. he cried and cried, for two hours at the most.  
  
after he had gathered himself together slightly, he stood up. he walked to the kitchen, luke's shirt still in his hand, and grabbed his phone. leaning against the counter, wiping his eyes repeatedly, he held the phone to his ear.  
  
"hey--" he sniffled a little, "calum, how are you?"

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah, that was that. i know it wasn't the kind of ending sequels usually have, but thats not what i wanted. i wanted it to be different and i didn't want a happy ending. so this is what came out and it was happy for a second. but i hoped you liked it; and if you did please leave some feedback. hearing from you guys always makes me happy. 
> 
> you're also welcome to leave some requests (i don't write things with your own personal name and/or a personal relationship) but leave some ships or AUs or whatever if you'd like. 
> 
> thank you guys so much for reading :))))
> 
> -ash xx


End file.
